Ok, so the job market is horrendous worldwide, apart from
perhaps, Australia. Otherwise, the streets are akin to the 1930s. Even the
colour has been sapped from the London streets, everything is in sepia, and for
some reason, men have started wearing cloth caps and have swapped their Nikes
for large shoes with gaping holes in the toes. Yes, we’re in a vast, yawning
hole of depression, but there are still jobs to be had in London town, just how
to go about it.
- Ensure you have friends in high places. This is easier said
than done, obviously, but loitering around in coffee shops does have its advantages
when it comes to making connections. I have now been offered a grand total of
two jobs, just from having the fortune of sitting next to the right people at
the right time. One man insisted that I come and interview for a job at his ski
and snowboard company, despite the fact that I can’t ski or snowboard. Another
man eyeballed my pictures that I was doctoring on my laptops and gave me a
business card for freelance photography. I still earn money this way. So if you’re
particularly lazy, and you prefer the idea of loafing around drinking hot beverages
all day over, then waiting for the job to come to you is one way of succeeding
in the London job market. I am proof that it can happen, you just a happy smile
and to look job hungry.
- Go classic. Local restaurants and bars will respond to your
efforts to traipse around the capital handing out promising looking CVs to all
and sundry. Open the door to the establishment with a smile, extend your arm to
the manager for a polite handshake and state why you’re there. Hopefully this
will be enough to show the place you want employment in that you’re an
excellent choice and that if nothing else, you have the stamina to be on your
feet for hours on end.
- Do what my friend did and stand out from the crowd with
quirky CVs. One of my friends, desperate to get a job in PR, poked his CV into
a balloon, filled it with Helium and then left it at several PR firms, hoping
to get their attention. He labelled it as a gift to the boss and provided a
handy pin to prick the rubber. Do your research first: a small quirky surprise
to a young PR manager could be a fatal shock induced heart attack to an older
one. Worked for my friend though: he was offered called for five interviews in
as many hours. While I don’t suggest that you copy this idea to the letter,
other ideas are delivering your CV wearing fancy dress, presenting your CV in a
3D origami shape (if this is at all relevant to your job-perhaps applying to be
a burger flipper in Maccy D’s won’t call for such a level of creativity) or
making a hanging mobile out of your CV and sending it in a package to PR firms
nationwide.
- Get in touch with a recruitment
agency. Sometimes, these places can help to place you with the company of your
dreams. Often, they arrange a little pre-interview with you first to make sure
that you’re not going to embarrass them. Just make sure you’re clear about what
type of job you’re looking for. I once went for an interview with an internet
company who quizzed me about my computer coding skills and looked more and more
dejected with every answer I offered. At no point had the recruitment
consultancy suggested that I would need to be able to program or build
websites: they’d told me that they were looking for someone to write product
descriptions. Mad.
- Move out to the provinces. A growing number of
graduates are opting not to move to London to find work. Despite the feeling
that London is almost a primate city in the UK, more and more jobs are being
found outside the capital for graduates. Jaguar Landrover recently offered a
shedload of engineering roles for new engineering and physics students, while
the BBC’s move to Salford has ensured that it’s no longer imperative for
debt-ridden graduates to shell out more money for London accommodation. The big
cities of Manchester, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Leeds and Birmingham have a variety
of jobs on offer, and, best of all, you’re less likely to be competing with EU
workers who come to London tempted by the glitz, the glam and the exceptional restaurants.
No-one ever went to Manchester for the glitz and the glam.
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