Graduate Scheme Panic

We’ve all got friends like it. Maybe you were one. Maybe I was. Who knows. 

“Fancy a drink?”

“Sorry, can’t I’ve got Amnesty/Foodwaste/Save the puppies AGM”

“Tomorrow lunchtime?”

“Lunchtimes? Are you serious? I’m interviewing local councillor/David Bowie/the Queen”

And now, post-university, they’re unemployed. They got a 2:1 (achievable), joined and ran every club under the sun (harder) and are personable. But they don’t have a job.

What went wrong?  I have several friends in this position and almost all of them have one thing in common:

They blindly applied for graduate roles.

Graduate roles are seen as the be all and end all of a university career. No graduate role? You are derided, cast aside and rejected by the university alumni people who call you up every week asking you what your leaver’s destination is.

“Seeking employment?” they sniff? “Did you not get on a graduate scheme?”

The phone line mysteriously goes dead. Your university doesn’t want you as a statistic. Seeking further employment doesn’t look great when they’re trying to attract new blood. 

“Oh him?” They’ll tell their supervisor. “No, we couldn’t get through.” And your number will be erased from the university alumni relations office contact book.

 But applying for too many roles when at uni, or post uni, is dangerous too. At some point you stop caring what the results of these applications will be. Graduate scheme at British Tobacco? Oh ok then, might as well. But you won’t get it, because you really couldn’t give a shit. The big four? KPMG? PWC? Well, are you good at  maths? No, but, well, go on, you might as well. And then you get rejected.

Because they know you didn’t wake up that morning, punching the air and saying: “Yes, one more step towards a lifelong career in audit!”

As previous posts have shown however, just because you want something like crazy, it doesn’t mean you’ll get that either. BBC graduate scheme-didn’t even get an interview. And I pretty much ticked every box going. And then some. Because graduate schemes are not the be all and end all. Focus on small production companies. Approach a small newspaper. Call up a regional auditors in your parents local town. Any architects nearby who’ll take you on for a few weeks of work experience?

Graduate schemes aren’t always glamorous. And quite often they can drag you through the hoops with you unwillingly holding the reigns with one hand. At each step you question whether you want it. But you keep getting through until the final selection day when you’re hideously rejected. And then you realised after all that work, preparation and effort, you’re still no closer to getting a job and the end of university is just 4 weeks away.

But don’t panic. Don’t apply blindly. Don’t rush yourself off your feet trying to fit mad amounts on your CV.  Relax, think about your point. What do you think you were put on this earth to do? What would you like to do? Because my guess was it wasn’t to end up working in a faceless office in front of a computer counting steel-piping imports. And if this was your dream, and you’ve achieved it: well done!

Being a fashion intern

So far it’s been less like Devil Wears Prada and more like the sofa of my kitchen on a rainy Sunday afternoon. People are constantly on a migration towards the teapot, huddled with laptops, casually typing out stories and shouting jokes around the room. In essence, it's essentially like any other office I’ve worked in, except there’s music.

Time Out is a  fantastic place to work and everybody is incredibly friendly, if a little busy.

My work so far has not been confined to coffee runs. Instead I’ve been in touch with PRs, writing out reams and reams of listings, generally getting confused with the image uploader they’ve got here. Most difficult, I've had to work out what Miu Miu means.

I am not your stereotypical Fashion Intern. For one, I don’t really care about fashion, and, as I pass the theatre/food/travel desks my head inclines wistfully towards them. But it’s a great step in the right direction and it mans that I get to shock friends and family with style advice. This comes from somebody who is happiest in leggings and oversized tee. 

I don't think it's going to turn me into some crazy Rachel Zoe lookalike (see! Fashion reference!!!), but it's making me appreciate the work that goes into producing a magazine as 'simple' as Time Out. 

 

How to get a job in London

Ok, so the job market is horrendous worldwide, apart from perhaps, Australia. Otherwise, the streets are akin to the 1930s. Even the colour has been sapped from the London streets, everything is in sepia, and for some reason, men have started wearing cloth caps and have swapped their Nikes for large shoes with gaping holes in the toes. Yes, we’re in a vast, yawning hole of depression, but there are still jobs to be had in London town, just how to go about it.

• Ensure you have friends in high places. This is easier said than done, obviously, but loitering around in coffee shops does have its advantages when it comes to making connections. I have now been offered a grand total of two jobs, just from having the fortune of sitting next to the right people at the right time. One man insisted that I come and interview for a job at his ski and snowboard company, despite the fact that I can’t ski or snowboard. Another man eyeballed my pictures that I was doctoring on my laptops and gave me a business card for freelance photography. I still earn money this way. So if you’re particularly lazy, and you prefer the idea of loafing around drinking hot beverages all day over, then waiting for the job to come to you is one way of succeeding in the London job market. I am proof that it can happen, you just a happy smile and to look job hungry.

• Go classic. Local restaurants and bars will respond to your efforts to traipse around the capital handing out promising looking CVs to all and sundry. Open the door to the establishment with a smile, extend your arm to the manager for a polite handshake and state why you’re there. Hopefully this will be enough to show the place you want employment in that you’re an excellent choice and that if nothing else, you have the stamina to be on your feet for hours on end.

• Do what my friend did and stand out from the crowd with quirky CVs. One of my friends, desperate to get a job in PR, poked his CV into a balloon, filled it with Helium and then left it at several PR firms, hoping to get their attention. He labelled it as a gift to the boss and provided a handy pin to prick the rubber. Do your research first: a small quirky surprise to a young PR manager could be a fatal shock induced heart attack to an older one. Worked for my friend though: he was offered called for five interviews in as many hours. While I don’t suggest that you copy this idea to the letter, other ideas are delivering your CV wearing fancy dress, presenting your CV in a 3D origami shape (if this is at all relevant to your job-perhaps applying to be a burger flipper in Maccy D’s won’t call for such a level of creativity) or making a hanging mobile out of your CV and sending it in a package to PR firms nationwide.

• Get in touch with a recruitment agency. Sometimes, these places can help to place you with the company of your dreams. Often, they arrange a little pre-interview with you first to make sure that you’re not going to embarrass them. Just make sure you’re clear about what type of job you’re looking for. I once went for an interview with an internet company who quizzed me about my computer coding skills and looked more and more dejected with every answer I offered. At no point had the recruitment consultancy suggested that I would need to be able to program or build websites: they’d told me that they were looking for someone to write product descriptions. Mad.

• Move out to the provinces. A growing number of graduates are opting not to move to London to find work. Despite the feeling that London is almost a primate city in the UK, more and more jobs are being found outside the capital for graduates. Jaguar Landrover recently offered a shedload of engineering roles for new engineering and physics students, while the BBC’s move to Salford has ensured that it’s no longer imperative for debt-ridden graduates to shell out more money for London accommodation. The big cities of Manchester, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Leeds and Birmingham have a variety of jobs on offer, and, best of all, you’re less likely to be competing with EU workers who come to London tempted by the glitz, the glam and the exceptional restaurants. No-one ever went to Manchester for the glitz and the glam.